Retro Reviews

Reviews of older horror films, shorts, or general creepiness.

Return To Crystal Lake: How ‘FRIDAY THE 13TH’ (2009) Gave Us One Last Good Slash To Tide Us Over

Friday the 13th

Whether you consider it a remake or a sequel, Marcus Nispel’s Friday the 13th (2009) was one of the early 2000’s best revival horror films. Alongside Nispel’s other venture, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), and larger-than-life re-imaginings like Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead, Friday the 13th gave new generations and old fans …

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Bright Green Horny Sauce! ‘BLUE RITA’ (1977) – Blu-ray Review

As a die-hard fan of Euro-sleaze films, my tastes usually veer towards the films of either Jean Rollin or Jesus “Jess” Franco. While Rollin, for the most part, stayed firmly in his vampire/supernatural lane, Franco’s films, however, careen every which way, from Nazi flicks to vampires, to period pieces, jungle …

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A Cult Classic In Waiting: ‘THERE’S NOTHING OUT THERE’ (1990) – Blu-ray Review

As a fan of horror cinema, I always hear “Hey man, you should check out _______ from back in the day, you’d love it”. Often time curiosity prevails, and I eventually do. Writer/director Rolfe Kanefsky’s (Nightmare Man) 1990 genre-blending horror/comedy There’s Nothing Out There is one of those films that …

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Well…At Least Linnea Quigley Is In It! ‘SCREAM QUEEN’ (2002) – Blu-ray Review

Ahhh, Wild Eye Releasing’s Visual Vengeance series of releases contains some real lost gems, cleaned up and lovingly presented for a new generation of horror misfits! Are they all lost “classics”? No. Enter Scream Queen. Synopsis Malicia Tombs, a well-known horror actress, dies in a car accident under mysterious circumstances …

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‘ESCAPE ROOM’ – A Riveting Journey of Psychological Tension and Deadly Puzzles

Escape Room

Escape Room is a psychological thriller film directed by Adam Robitel and released in 2019. The movie follows a group of six strangers who receive mysterious invitations to participate in an escape room challenge. As one might expect, the participants quickly realize that the stakes are high as the rooms …

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‘TEEN VAMP’ (1989) – Retro Review

Teen Vamp

If you’re a lucky member of Generation X you grew up with some pretty keen “gateway horror movies.” Classics such as Teen Wolf (1985), where a young Michael J. Fox shows just how harrowing it can be to go through the inevitable “changes” teenage boys like him face. Then there was …

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My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009) – Retro Review

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Remakes of ’70s and ’80s horror films were all the rage in the 2000s. The box office success of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre remake in 2003 started a bit of a renaissance. What followed was a hodgepodge of mostly watered down studio fluff, including The Fog, The Wicker Man, and When A Stranger …

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‘DeepStar Six’ (1989): Not All Aliens Come From Space! – Retro Review

DeepStar Six

Growing up as a teenager in the late ’80s was a blast — especially if you were a sci-fi/horror fan! While the ’80s ushered in the golden era of slashers, genre films like The Terminator, Aliens, and The Fly blended sci-fi and horror seamlessly. Video stores ruled the home entertainment …

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‘LAND OF THE DEAD’ (2005) Retro Review – Zombies Evolved

Land of the Dead

Zombie-themed entertainment is big business in 2020. New indie and mainstream Zombie films are released, seemingly every month. The Walking Dead is in its 10th season on AMC. Shows like I, Zombie, Black Summer, Daybreak, Z Nation permeate our televisions and streaming services. There are graphic novels, video games, books, foreign films like Train To Busan. The …

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‘DRACULA’ (1931): Unleashing Storms of Horror

Dracula (1931)

The 1931 film Dracula is a classic horror film directed by Tod Browning and stars Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula. Though some may prefer F. W. Murnau’s Nosferatu, this film at least had the blessing of the “rightful owner,” the estate of Bram Stoker. It also did more to popularize the …

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